12 Family Projects for re/marital and family success...

INDEX of PROJECT 3 ARTICLES

Co-parents (a) accept your stepfamily
 identity and (b) agree on who belongs

Project 3 guidebook:

Available now in hardcover, paperback, and eBook formats.

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The Web address of this article is http://sfhelp.org/03/links03.htm

        Links here will open a new browser window or an informational popup - so please turn off your browser's popup blocker, or accept popups from this nonprofit Web site. This article provides links to all Project 3 articles in this divorce-prevention Web site.

  What is Family Project 3?  Ideally during courtship, both co-parents...

  • accept your stepfamily identity, (vs. "No, we're just a family"),

  • encourage other family adults and kids to do the same, and...

  • work together to identify and resolve membership (inclusion/rejection) conflicts among your related homes and generations.

        Why? Because typical multi-home stepfamilies differ from intact biofamilies in over 60 ways. These differences create over 50 common myths (unrealistic expectations) about stepfamily development, roles, and relationships.

        Unless all three or more co-parents genuinely accept their stepfamily identity ("Yes, we are a stepfamily."), they risk (a) not realizing that these five major hazards apply to them and their kids, and (b) ignoring or minimizing these 12 safeguard Projects.

        That promotes escalating dissatisfaction and frustrations, and eventual re/divorce trauma for your adults and kids. Many authors estimate (without supportive Census data) that well over half of typical US stepfamily mates re/divorce legally within 10 years of their commitments. An unknown number of families  endure the toxic effects of psychological re/divorce.

        Progress at these Project-3 goals is essential for motivation to do Project 4 - learn stepfamily basics, convert over 50 common myths into realistic role and relationship expectations, and teach these to your family members. The best time to progress at Projects 3 and 4 is during co-parent courtship. This creates the best odds of making three wise commitment choices for you and any dependent and future kids. 

For more perspective, (a) survey stepfamily basics and realities in this slide presentation or text article, and/or (b) download and study this free modular re/marriage-preparation course. Then invite other family members and supporters to do the same, and discuss what you learn.

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Links to Project-3 Articles

Review -

  • the premises that underlie this nonprofit Web site

  • these quizzes on basic family and  stepfamily  knowledge

  • these useful terms about relationships and families

  • these Q&A topics about stepfamilies and step-relationships

  • this two-page introduction to values and loyalty conflicts and associated relationship triangles

  • these articles about evaluating stepfamily advice and materials

  • a link summary to stepfamily basics articles in this Web site, and...

  • this example of a real stepfamily

Page # and title

3-1)  Project 3 overview

3-2) - basic stepfamily facts

PowerPoint slides - an introduction to stepfamilies

3-3)  Identity - What is a 'stepfamily'? Are we in one?

3-4)  Summary: what being in a stepfamily usually means

3-5)  Comparison of biofamily and stepfamily development cycles

3-6)  Three development paths typical stepfamilies may follow - 2 pages

3-7)  Identify and resolve stepfamily membership or inclusion conflicts - 2 pages

3-8)  How to draw and use a genogram (family map)  to help resolve membership conflicts - 2 pages

3-9)  Worksheet: see who accepts your stepfamily identity now

3-10)  Three layers of stepfamily problems

3-11)  Typical benefits of being in a stepfamily

Review - this link index to Project 4 (stepfamily) articles and resources

Applications

3-12)  Options for reacting to a mate who rejects your stepfamily identity

3-13)  Options for reacting to relatives who reject your stepfamily identity


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Updated  October 22, 2008