Co-parent Project 7 - Make Three Wise Re/marriage Choices

Content Outlines of all Eight Modules

What Courting Co-parents Need to Know
to avoid probable re/divorce

By Peter K. Gerlach, MSW
Member NSRC Experts Council

available Spring 2003

The Web address of this article is http://sfhelp.org/07/bhsf/outline-8.htm

        This will give you a sense of the (recommended) main topics of each course module, and how they all fit together. The modules can be tailored in many ways to fit participant and course-sponsor needs. Each individual module guide begins with participant and leader prerequisites, and module goals. This outline is included in the Leader’s Guide. Links below will open a popup or a new window. Use your browser's "back" (or right-mouse) button to return from the latter.

The guidebook for this course and co-parent Projects 1-7 is Stepfamily Courtship, by Peter K. Gerlach, MSW (Xlibris.com, 2002). It's one of a series based on this Web site.

  • Module 1) – Introductions / Goals / Overviews (20” – 40”)

1)  Welcome participants; Introductions; handouts
2)  Describe the overall seminar objective: make right re/marriage decisions, and avoid re/divorce
3)  Outline the seminar and session agendas, and seminar administrative guidelines
4)  Hilight the U.S. re/divorce problem
5)  Propose reasons for widespread U.S. re/divorce
6)  Outline seven re/marriage-evaluation projects for courting co-parents
7)  Outline five post-re/wedding projects
8)  Discussion and seminar administration, if any
9)  Session recap, next meeting, and closing

  • Module 2) – Introduction to Inner Wounds and Recovery (45” – 90”)

1)  Opening; review; raise interest; handouts..
2)  Introduce family nurturance: low nurturance promotes psychological wounds in kids
3)  About your personality: define and illustrate inner family, subselves; true Self and false self,   Grown Wounded Child (GWC), and six psychological wounds.
4)  Implications of denied false-self dominance: illness, (re)divorce, wound kids, early death.
5)  Common symptoms of significant false-self dominance
6)  How to assess for significant false-self wounds
7)  Summarize recovery from inner wounds
8)  Discussion and any seminar administration
9)  Session recap, next meeting, closing

  • Module 3) – Introduction to Effective Communication Skills (45” – 60”)

1)  Opening; review; handouts
2)  Define effective communication
3)  Six communication needs
4)  Three communication channels
5)  Exchanging four concurrent messages; introduce R(espect)-messages;
6)  Overview: seven communication skills
7)  Introduce E(motion)-levels; When to use each skill
8)  Option: male-female communication differences
9)  Discussion and any seminar administration
10) Session recap, next meeting, closing

  • Module 4) – Good Grief Basics, and How to Spot and Thaw Frozen Mourning (45” – 60”)

1)  Opening, review; handouts. Option: raise interest with the grief quiz
2)  Review attachment (bonding) and losses
3)  Overview three mourning levels
4)  Good-grief factors and blocked grief
5)  Symptoms of blocked grief
6)  Options for unblocking
7)  Options: pro-grief relationships, and family grief policies
8)  Discussion and any seminar administration
9)  Session recap, next meeting, closing

  • Module 5) – Stepfamily Overview (45” – 90”)

1)  Opening; review; handouts;
2)  Definitions - stepfamily, stepparent, stepchild, half sibling
3)  Stepfamily identity conflicts
4)  Stepfamily membership and role stressors
5)  Overviews: loyalty conflicts and relationship triangles
6)  Options: typical stepfamily merger tasks, developmental phases
7)  Implications of all these for re/marriage success: review the five hazards
8)  Option: stepfamily example
9)  Discussion and any seminar administration
10) Session recap, next meeting, closing

  • Module 6) - Family Mission Statement, and Co-parent “Job Descriptions” (45” to 60”)

1)  Opening; review; handouts
2)  Review the problem: many U.S. re/marriages end in psychological or legal divorce
3)  Overview: stepfamily mission statement (rationale, example, keys)
4)  Personal mission statements; (relevance to stepfamily mission statement)
5)  Review: high-nurturance family traits from Module 1
6)  Review typical stepchild developmental and special needs
7)  Overviews: the need for caregiving teamwork, and typical barriers
7)  Overview: co-parent "job descriptions" - definition, rationale, and examples
8)  Discussion and any seminar administration
9)  Session recap, next meeting, closing

  • Module 7) – Make 3 Right Re/marriage Decisions (45” - 60”)

1)  Opening; review, handouts
2)  Recap the five re/divorce hazards
3)  Summarize the 12 co-parent Projects
4)  Outline six key re/marriage-evaluation questions for each courting co-parent
5)  Review 16 courtship danger signs; making three right choices)
6)  Review: questions partners need to research and discuss
7)  Project-7 summary: three re/marriage success keys: learn, assess, and act
8)  Discussion; recap the session and the seminar
9)  Resources and next steps (form or join a support group?)
10) Evaluations and closing.

  • Module 8) Group role-play exercise – form a stepfamily (~ 3 hours)

1) Options: how to use this role-play, and with whom

2) Overall goals and requisites

3) Setting and materials

4) Leader requisites

5) Leader guide:

• Part 1) Introduction (~15”)

• Part 2) Form biofamilies (~30”)

• Part 3) Biofamily divorce (~30”)

• Part 4) Form a new stepfamily, and plan your first Thanksgiving (~45”)

• Part 5) Large-group debrief, and closing (~45” – 60”)

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Updated  January 05, 2009