About "I" Messages

     They are a better way to assert your needs than hinting, demanding, or using blameful "you" messages:

"When you (describe your partner's behavior factually, in a way that could be recorded on tape)...

... then (describe factually and specifically how your life is affected);"

(optional) "and I need you to..." (describe a specific change you need, and perhaps a con-sequence if your partner declines to make it.)

Example: "Pat, when you keep working on the PC when I'm talking to you, then I feel ignored and disrespected, and I need you to want to stop and focus on me."  //  more detail