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Premise - An addiction is an uncontrollable compulsion to reduce relentless inner pain by self-medication with chemicals, an activity, a relationship, or a mood, like excitement, sexual arousal, rage, and/or religious ecstasy. The inner pain comes from significant psychological wounds. Some behaviors are compulsive but are not true addictions. True addictions have unmistakable traits: they... 1) are irrational and uncontrollable - logic (reasoning), pleading, manipulation, and criticism will not reduce a true addiction; and they... 2) are progressive: the addictive behavior moves through predictable stages over months or years, resulting in "hitting bottom" and preliminary recovery, or premature death. And addictions... 3) are fiercely minimized or denied, despite obvious symptoms. And they... 4) cause escalating pain and injury to the addict and other people - specially family members. Addictions... 5) may evoke the compulsion of codependence (relationship addiction) in some other people. And they...
6)
have four phases: (a) active
addiction, (b) trial bottom and pseudo recovery (new behavior, but same
attitudes and values), (c) true bottom and preliminary recovery
(different attitudes, values,
spirituality, and behaviors); and
7) can be controlled with knowledgeable help, but not cured - unless the addict chooses self-motivated (full) recovery from psychological wounds. An effective way to evolve full recovery is via Lesson 1. |
