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Psychologist Abraham Maslow proposed that for typical adults and kids the intense primal need to belong to a group of people (feel accep-ted and included) is second only to the needs for current and near-future physical and emotional comforts. Any adult and child may (a) include themselves in their family, and (b) may or may not feel included by some or all other family members - i.e. feeling scorned, rejected, and ignored. This manifests as not being in-vited to family gatherings, not being consulted or informed about signifi-cant family decisions or changes, not being acknowledged on birth-days, child births, marriages, anniversaries, and achievements, and not being supported in time of trouble. "Membership conflicts" occur when family kids and adults disagree on who belongs (is accepted and valued). Such conflicts are usually shame-based, and always lower a family's nurturance level. Family ex-clusion and membership conflicts are common symptoms of a low-nur-turance family guided by psychologically-wounded, unaware adults. self-improvement Lessons 1 thru 5 provide an effective way motivated adults can to evolve and maintain a high-nurturance family. About stepfamily membership |
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