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This is one of a series of articles on Lesson 1 of 7 in
this Web site - free your
true Self
to guide you and
reduce
significant psychological wounds.
This video clip previews what you'll find here...
This article
outlines key steps to assess yourself or another person for
significant psychological
wounds from early-childhood trauma.
From my
31-year
experience as family systems therapist, it appears that a high majority of
average adults hare significantly wounded, and don't (want to) know that or what it
means.
Self-improvement Lesson 1 in this educational Web site aims to help adults...
understand these wounds,
where they come from, and what they mean; and then..
assess themselves for
wound symptoms, and...
help motivated adults reduce any significant wounds they discover.
Premise - adults' and kids'
combined wounds are perhaps the most powerful of
five reasons that
over half of U.S. marriages fail.
This summary article
outlines the key steps to assess for false-self (psy-chological) wounds,
and points to
initial steps in healing them.
You'll get the most from this guide if you patiently...
Prepare to Assess
This article assumes you're familiar with...
the
intro to this Web site,
and the premises
underlying it
Study these articles to understand (a) why this self-assessment
framework exists, and (b) how it relates to you and the kids and adults you
care about. Doing this will help you start
reducing the second major family hazard: unawareness.
# Status check: Pause, breathe well,
and notice if you feel any of these:alive, alert, centered,
energized, focused, calm, purposeful, strong, "up," grounded,
confident, competent, interested, aware, and
"light." If so,
your true Self probably is leading your
other personality subselves.
Assess for False-self Dominance and Wounds
Option: print this and use it as a checklist to guide and monitor your
progress...
Choose the open, curious mind of a
student, and (a) expect to learn something of high value for you and those
you love. This is a win-win process: if you do all 11 checklists honestly,
you'll learn (b) you're not significantly wounded, or (c) you are, and
can benefit greatly from evolving and working a personal recovery plan.
Expect this evaluation
to take several weeks, and pace yourself. If you get confused or
over-whelmed,
stop and regroup. There's a lot here. Option:
journal about your
reactions as you go...
Read (a) each of the linked articles
above, and (b) any articles they link to that catch your eye, if you haven't already.
Skipping this may invalidate
your assessment results.
For a preliminary (overall)
evaluation, fill out this worksheet
and notice your feelings and thoughts as you do. Because your
well-meaning, distrustful false self will try to distort your answers,
then take undistracted time to widen your perspective
by using these 11 additional checklists honestly...
Next, read
this to help decide what all
the above articles and checklists mean to you. Then with
the perspective you've gained...
Review (a) this overview of inner-wound
recovery and (b) this
introduction to freeing your Self to
harmonize (reorganize) and lead your inner
family of subselves.
If you're sure...
your
true Self is
guiding your other subselves, and...
you feel motivated to commit to personal recovery from psychological wounds
for your and your loved-one's sakes, then...
commit to following these steps in Lesson 1
at your own pace. These steps will show you one way to reduce
any wounds that burden you now, over time. If you do this, also...
Decide if you want to invest
in the Lesson-1 guide
book
Who's
Really Running Your Life? (Xlibris.com, 4th ed.
2011)as a portable recovery resource.
To widen your perspective, scan this list
of other books about multi-part
personalities, recovery, and true Selves. Follow the wisdom of the
"still, small voice" within you.
Investigate your
community to see
if there are any professional recovery guides (therapists) and/or
reputable support groups. The best ones are usually led by Self-led
mental-health professionals.
Thoughtfully decide if there are any
other persons you want to share these ideas and resources with (like your
partner) now. This may change as you progress in your recovery. Finally...
Usethis
worksheet to assess what your current real
priorities are, and where
personal recovery from psychological wounds will fit among them. I recommend
for your and your kids' long-term benefit, you're wise to put it among your top five
priorities; and...
If appropriate, widen your
perspective by reading and discussing these options for relating to a
wounded adult or
child. Then...
Use
your new knowledge and perspective
to gain deeper awareness from rereading this summary of
five hazards that (I believe)
promote our unremarked
U.S.
divorce
epidemic.
Note
that gaining the full benefit of
Lessons 1-7
here depends on
your family adults being guided by their true Selves. Assessing
each adult honestly for the six psychological wounds is the first step to-ward achieving that!
I'd like to learn from your
feedback
on these articles and the ideas behind them, and any wound-reduction
experience in your family.
Recap
From 31 years' research and clinical experience,
I propose
that most American (and other?) families
(like yours?) are stressed by a lethal [wounds + unawareness]
cycle
passing down the generations.
This article outlines how to assess yourself
or someone else for symptoms of this cycle: significant psychological wounds
from a low-nurturance (traumatic) childhood. It proposes preliminary readings to
help you prepare for an assessment, and provides links to a group of
Lesson-1 worksheets for wound-assessment.
+ + +
Pause, breathe, and recall why you read this article. Did you get
what you needed? If so, what do you need now? If not - what
do you need? Is there anyone you want to
discuss these ideas with?
Who's answering these
questions - your wise resident
true Self,
or
''someone else''?
The Web address of this article is
http://sfhelp.org/gwc/assess.htm
Note
that gaining the full benefit of
Recap