About Bonds and Losses 

        With few exceptions, humans are born with the reflex to attach - to care about, take interest in, and enjoy special places, rituals, ideas, dreams, ex-periences, and living and physical things. As life unfolds, these mild to in-tense attachments or bonds get broken by choice or chance. That upsets and distracts us a little or a lot, until we accept (a) the loss and (b) what it means to us and others we care about. Then we can choose new bonds.

        This natural acceptance process - grief - occurs mentally, emotionally, and for some, spiritually. Mourning is automatic, unless the person has (a) significant psychological wounds, (b) isn't aware of their feelings and need to grieve, and (c) lives in an "anti-grief" environment. When grieving is hindered, it can promote serious emotional, physical, and relationship problems like "depressions,"  "numbness," sleep, digestive, and mood disorders, addic-tions, "rage attacks," and obesity. 

        All family members experience a web of major losses when a family separates and divorces. When courting couples re/commit and/or cohabit, they , related kids, and any ex mates experience another set of invisible and perhaps physical losses. If family separation and cohabiting occur too close together, the losses can compound and overwhelm one or more people.

        Here, co-parent Lesson 3 provides a way to (a) learn "good grief" basics; (b) assess for blocked grief and free it up; and (c) build a "pro-grief" home and family together over time. All families and relationships evolve a policy (rules) about how to deal with losses. Can you describe your present family's grie-ving policy? 

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