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An addiction is an uncontrollable compulsion to reduce relentless inner pain by self-medication with chemicals, an activity, a relationship, or a mood, like excitement, sexual arousal, rage, and/or religious ecstasy. Some behaviors are compulsive but are not true addictions. The inner pain comes from significant false-self wounds. True addictions have unmistakable traits: they... 1) are irrational and uncontrollable - logic (reasoning), pleading, manipulation, and criticism will not reduce a true addiction; and they... 2) are progressive: the addictive behavior moves through predictable stages over months or years, resulting in ''hitting bottom'' and preliminary recovery, or prema-ture death. And addictions... 3) are fiercely minimized or denied, despite clear evidence to the contrary. And they... 4) relentlessly cause pain and injury to the addict and other people - specially family members. They... 5) may evoke the compulsion of codependence (relationship addiction) in some other people. And they... 6) have four phases: (a) active addiction, (b) pseudo recovery (new behavior, same attitudes and values), (c) preliminary (12-step) recovery (different attitudes, values, spirituality, and behaviors); and (d) full recovery (a Self-led, harmonious personality). And addictions... 7) can be controlled with knowledgeable help, but not cured - unless the addict chooses self-motivated recovery from false-self wounds. An effective way to evolve full recovery is via inner-family therapy (Project 1). more detail / slides / Lesson-1 index and guidebook / close |
