Dig-down Relationship Skill

Most people unintentionally cause and endure relationship stress by focusing on surface needs, and avoiding responsibil-ity for filling their primary needs. This is specially likely for peo-ple whose personality is ruled by a false self. Inner focus and true-Self leadership allows "digging down" through four levels of awareness to identify primary needs and who they "belong" to:

1) Denials - I have no false-self wounds
 and no problem (unmet needs) now.

2) Blame - I have no wounds and I do have a
(surface, secondary) problem which you must fix.

3) Semi-aware - I have no false-self wounds, and I am half
 responsible for my (surface) problem. You must fix the other half.

4) Aware -  I am wounded and I am fully responsible
for identifying and filling my primary needs.