About "I" Messages

     A more effective way to assert your needs than hinting, demanding, or blameful "you" messages has 2 or 3 parts:

"When you (describe your partner's behavior fac-tually, in a way that could be recorded on tape)...

... then (describe factually and specifically how your life is affected);"

(optional) "and I need you to..." (describe a spe-cific change you need, and perhaps a con-sequence if your partner declines to make it.

Example: "Pat, (a) when you keep working on the PC when I'm talking to you, (b) I feel ignored and disrespected, and (c) I need you to want to stop and focus on me."
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