Adults and kids in any family have local and developmental who-listic needs. To nurture means "to intentionally and effectively fill a living thing's needs."  Families of any type vary in how nurturing they are over time. Young kids can't fill most of their needs healthily without wise, lo-ving adult help. By social custom, parental desire, and legal responsi-bility, we expect family adults to (a) want to (a) learn what their kids need, and to (b) fill them and their own needs well, within their limits.

    Our media and legal system describe adults who significantly ignore their children's physical, psychological, mental and spiritual needs as neglectful. Legal statutes define sanctions and penalties for neglectful caregivers. Paradoxically, they  provide no test for caregiving-compe-tence before marriage and/or child conception.

        Because adults are "supposed to" want to nurture themselves, there are no sanctions for the self neglect which is rampant in our cul-ture. Psychological and legal divorce is a strong indicator of a low-nurtur-ance family and shame-based, self-neglectful adults. That implies most kids of divorce may suffer some degree of wholistic neglect, which pro-motes false-self wounding and choosing  wounded partners as adults. Restated - wholistic neglect tends to  pass down the generations until aware adults intentionally break the cycle. Family Project 1 in this non-profit site offers a way to do that, and Projects 6 and 10 are about buil-ding an effective nurturing team.

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