About Requests vs. Demands

        A request is (a) asserting a need respectfully, and (b) tolerating responses like "No," "Not now," "Maybe," and/or "I don't know." A demand is asserting disrespectfully and/or not tolerating any of these responses. Demands usually im-ply or describe  consequences attached to them, and may imply "My needs are more important than yours right now. These can cause hurt, resentment, anger, antagonism, and/or anxiety, which all block effective communication.

        Some threats can feel like demands with vague or im-plied painful consequences. Demands imply the speaker is unaware or overwhelmed, not able to problem-solve, and may be ruled by a false self. For more perspective and options, read about effective assertion.

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