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Premise - the personality of most (all?) normal adults and kids is composed of three groups of "subselves," the way athletic teams or orches-tras are composed of players with unique talents and limitations. The groups are young reactive Inner Children, alert Guardians who protect them, and a group of Regulars, including your talented true Self (capital "S"). A universal Guardian subself can be called your Inner Critic. S/He ceaselessly fills your conscious mind with detailed acid descriptions of your flaws, failings, mistakes, and stupidity. Often this diligent protector works with your Cynic / Doubter, and vocal Perfectionist, Worrier, and Catastro-phizer subselves to discount inner and outer praise, focus only on your er-rors and weaknesses, and rebuke you for every (imagined) sin and failure. S/He may also vigorously blame and shame other people. When your well-meaning Inner Critic is not moderated by your Self, your resident Shamed, Guilty, and/or Scared inner children activate and flood you with their intense feelings and thoughts. Often the Inner Critic distrusts and takes over your Self, and lives in a traumatic (unsafe) earlier time. S/He usually is trying to protect Inner Kids from harm or upset. Family Project 1 can gradually convince this diligent Guardian that it's safe to moderate her or his criticism, protect the inner kids from stress, live in the present time, and rely on the resident Self to keep them safe enough each day. Doing this helps reduce the crippling wounds of exces-sive fears, shame, and guilt. Have you ever thought of asserting limits with your relentless inner Critic as you would with an external aggressor? I recommend Embracing Your Inner Critic, by Hal and Sidra Stone to aug-ment the Lesson-1 Web pages. more detail / slides / Q&A / Lesson-1 guidebook / close |
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