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Premise - the personality of most (all?) normal adults and kids is composed of three groups of subselves, the way athletic teams or orchestras are composed of players with unique talents and limitations. A universal subself can be called your Inner Critic. S/He ceaselessly fills your conscious mind with detailed acid descriptions of your flaws, failings, mistakes, and stupidity. Often this diligent protector works with your Cynic/Doubter and vocal Perfectionist, Worrier, and Catastrophizer subselves to discount inner and outer praise, focus only on your errors and weaknesses, and rebuke you for every (imagined) sin and failure. S/He may also vigorously blame and shame other people. When your well-meaning Inner Critic is not moderated by your wise true Self, your resident Shamed, Guilty, and/or Scared inner children activate and flood you with their intense feelings and thoughts. Often the Inner Critic distrusts and takes over your Self, and lives in a traumatic (unsafe) earlier time. S/He usually is trying to protect Inner Kids from harm or upset. Progress on Lesson 1 can gradually convince this diligent subself that it's safe to moderate her or his criticism, live in the present time, and rely on the resident Self to keep the Inner Kids safe. This helps reduce the crippling wounds of excessive fears, shame, and guilts. Have you ever thought of asserting limits with your relentless inner Critic as you would with an external aggressor? I recommend Embracing Your Inner Critic, by Hal and Sidra Stone for more help. close |
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