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Guilt is the normal mental-emotional reaction to perceiving that we have done something wrong or bad - i.e. that we have violated someone's rules: shoulds, musts, have to's, and ought to's. This site proposes that excessive guilty thoughts and feelings often come from a young Guilty Child personality subself activating because the stern Inner Critic (and other people) proclaim "You did something wrong!" This usually also activates the fragile Shamed Child, who is convinced "I am a bad, worthless, unlovable person." Normal guilt helps to regulate our behavior and fill our needs. We learn normal or excessive guilts and shame from the way our early caregivers respond to us, usually starting before we have any language. When the Inner Critic and Guilty Child activate, one or more tireless Guardian subselves spring into action to reduce inner pain. These can include the People-pleaser, Catastrophizer, Perfectionist, Addict, Magician, (rationalizer), Joker, Martyr, Liar, Avoider, Moralizer, Worrier, and others. If these subselves overwhelm (disable) the true Self situationally or often, they form a local or chronic "false self." Personal recovery ( Project 1) aims to (1) connect Inner Children with the Nurturer subself, (2) retrain and moderate the Inner Critic and Perfectionist subselves, and (3) patiently grow all subselves' trust in the ability of the Self and a benign Higher Power to keep them safe and satisfied, and (4) reduce false-self wounds, including excessive shame and guilts. more detail / slides / Project-1 index and guidebook / Q&A / close |
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