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Emotions are automatic responses to the environment that alert us to current needs (discomforts). Do you know someone who "is always in their head", or "never shows any emotion"? S/He may be controlled by a tireless personality subself who's talent is to repress or numb-out current emotions. This faithful Guardian subself may exist because the person learned in early childhood that expressing some or all normal emotions usually resulted in significant pain from other people - e.g. ridicule (scorn), disinterest, physi-cal punishment, criticism, or rejection. The Numb-er doesn't trust the true Self and Nurturer subselves to protect one or more inner children from expec-ted pain and/or emotional overwhelm. It may cause anhedonia - an inability to feel pleasure. As a young child, were you encouraged or discouraged by your care-givers and hero/ines from feeling and expressing anger? Fears? Guilt? Shame? Frustration? Hurt? Sorrow? Did you ever hear "Honey, I'm so proud of the way you feel and express your anger!"? Have you praised minor kids (or adults) in your home and life like that? People who fear displaying their emotions may also be controlled by a protective Magician subself. To protect inner kids, s/he causes reality distor-tions to convince the person s/he's not feeling what s/he does feel ("I'm not sad, just kind of tired.") The Blocker subself tries to protect by inhibiting general self-awareness. Lesson 1 helps to heal false-self wounds and retrain Guardian sub-selves to trust the resident Self (capital "S") to protect Inner Kids from exces-sive pain. This promotes feeling emotions, and expressing them appropriate-ly - which improves intimacy, empathy, and communication effectiveness! |
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