About Power Struggles

    How would you describe power to a pre-teen? One answer is "It is ener-gy to create or change things." So a power struggle is a contest to see who can "get their way" (win) in a dispute. This can harm relationships and self-esteems, if it translates to "Who is better / stronger / smarter - you or me?"

    This combative attitude promotes winners and losers, which can cause resentment, hurt, anger, guilt, and shame in the "loser" - specially if s/he is an unrecovering Grown Wounded Child (GWC). Shame-based ("egotistical") and fear-based people often initiate power struggles to "prove" to themsel-ves and others that they are competent, worthy, independent (and maybe superior) people. Others do this to manipulate people.

    A better alternative is win-win problem-solving, where each person strives to learn and fill everyone's primary needs equally, without resent-ment. In some vales conflicts respectfully agreeing to disagree is the best option. People who aren't able to choose these options consistently are probably dominated by a false self.

    Lesson 1 here aims to help such people safely free their true Self to guide their other personality subselves. Lesson 2 helps them to learn awareness and effective problem-solving skills.