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How to Resolve Major
Values
Conflicts
A values conflict occurs when two or more
people disagree on a belief, preference, priority, or perception. Common responses to
these clashes include arguing ("I'm right, you're wrong.");
manipulating ["If you (don't) agree with me, I'll ___"]; and/or
avoiding,
denying, pretending to agree, or withdrawing;
The best options are (a) respectfully compromising, or
(b) agreeing to disagree. Steps to do this include:
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Confirm
that each person is
by his/her
true Self.
If not, switch your focus to
freeing
the disabled Self, or lower your expectations. (Lesson 1)
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Each person learn and apply communication basics and
skills (Lesson 2)
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Identify
your respective
primary needs
and agree they're of
equal importance
-
Affirm that neither of you is right or wrong
- your values just
differ
-
learn the concepts of (a)
and mutual values conflicts, (b) win-win com-promises, and (c) agree on clear
definitions of each of them. Then (d) expand your vocabularies to include
these terms and your definitions
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(a) learn each other's personal
priorities,
and (b) agree on your co-equal rights as dignified persons
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when internal and mutual values conflicts occur
at the same time, help each other resolve the internal conflicts first
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If you can't find a mutually-acceptable compromise to your
conflict, agree to disagree
(vs. "giving in") for the sake of
relationship harmony
More detail
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