Typical Traits of [Wounded + Unaware] Couples

       Premise - When typical committed partners are each ruled often by false selves (wounded), and unaware of themselves and key topics, they exhibit observable personal and mutual behaviors. The latter include several or all of these...

  • each partner often feeling unheard, disrespected, and misunderstood;

  • trying to fill unmet needs with ineffective strategies like these, despite recurring or increasing frustrations and dissatisfactions;

  • denial of escalating addictions

  • conflicts over emotional and physical intimacy

  • often preferring time with work and/or friends vs. each other

  • c/overt emotional and/or sexual affairs

  • increasing distrusts, avoidances, impatience, and emotional volatility

  • publicly ridiculing, name-calling, and/or criticizing the other partner

  • accumulating relationship hurts, resentments, guilts, and angers

  • frequently feeling like opponents (you vs. me) rather than true partners ("us"), and rarely sharing 2-person awareness bubbles.

  • avoiding couples counseling, and/or getting little from it

  • repeated cycles of aggression and remorse

  • choosing other confidants, and denying or justifying this

  • significant episodes of indifference or "getting even" (punishment).

Every "troubled" couple will have unique mixes and versions of these traits. Lessons 1 thru 4  in this nonprofit Web site are about spotting and cooperatively reducing traits like these.                                                       Detail