Lesson 7 of 7  - evolve a high-nurturance stepfamily

LESSON-7  LINK INDEX

How to Grow a Healthy
Re/marriage and Stepfamily

By Peter K. Gerlach, MSW
member NSRC Experts Council

colorbar.gif (1095 bytes)

  •  site intro > course outline > Lesson 7 study guide, site search, chat, or other page > here

The Web address of this index is http://sfhelp.org/sf/links7.htm

        Clicking links below will open a full window or an informational popup, so please turn off your browser's popup blocker or allow popups from this nonprofit, ad-free Web site.

        This indexes a series of Lesson-7 articles on how to evolve a high-nurturance stepfamily and avoid re/divorce. The "/" in re/marriage and re/divorce notes that it may be a stepparent's first union. "Co-parents" means both bioparents, or any of the three or more related adults managing a multi-home nuclear stepfamily. 

         One of five reasons many (most?) U.S. stepfamilies are very stressed and may break up is adult unawareness of the information in Lessons 1-7. These Lesson-7 links are grouped as...

  The best way to study these materials is to invest time in self-improvement Lesson 7

Suggestion - Before following any link below, scan this entire index for context. The number of articles and worksheets here demonstrates how complex average stepfamilies are!

  Stepfamily Basics

7-01) Quiz: do you know what you need to know about stepfamilies?

7-02)  Stepfamily basics - text or slides

7-03)  A real-life example of a typical new stepfamily

7-04)  Questions stepfamily adults and supporters should research

7-05)  30 structural differences between stepfamilies and typical intact biofamilies

7-06)  30 unique developmental tasks new stepfamily adults must master 

7-07)  Extra developmental phases typical stepfamilies have compared to intact biofamilies

7-08)  Three possible developmental paths new stepfamilies may follow

7-09)  60 common stepfamily myths, expectations, and realities (8 pages)

7-10)  Why accepting your stepfamily identity is vital

7-11)  Perspective on who belongs to your stepfamily

7-12)  Why and how to use a genogram to map your stepfamily members

7-13)  16 things new stepfamily members must merge over many years

7-14)  Primary problems that cause most stepfamily stress.

7-15)  How to evaluate stepfamily advice

7-16)  How to choose useful stepfamily books and materials

  Stepfamily Courtship and Re/marriage


        Note - the "/" notes it may be a stepparent's first union or divorce

Review - five major causes of stepfamily stress

Review - keys to a healthy re/marriage (Lesson 4)

7-17)  Overview - make three wise courtship-commitment choices!

7-18)  Perspective on cohabiting ("moving in together")

Review: Worksheet - Our recent priorities  

Courtship Worksheets

7-19) 16 courtship danger signs

7-20)  Am I committing to the right mate, co-parent/s, and stepkids?

7-21)  Is this the right time to re/marry? -

7-22)  Are we re/marrying for the right reasons?

7-23)  Ideas on planning a successful stepfamily wedding

7-24)  Options if your mate hasn't grieved the death of their former spouse

Review - Symptoms of incomplete recovery from prior divorce (Lesson 4)

Review - primary-relationship basics (Lesson 4).

Review - our primary-relationship's strengths and growth areas (worksheet)

Review - Common stressors that same-gender couples will face (Lesson 4)

Review - Options if your mate has not mourned their former spouse (Lesson 4)

Resources - Computer-assisted pre-remarriage evaluation programs: Prepare/Enrich, REFOCCUS, and Relate. These are useful, though they're less detailed than the worksheets above, and they don't evaluate  some key factors like these. 

  Effective Stepfamily Coparenting

  • Coparenting basics and typical stepchild needs

  • Stepparent-stepchild relationships

  • Stepsibling relationships

Review - kids' normal developmental tasks

Review - What is effective parenting? (Lesson 6)

7-25)  Summary - typical kids' adjustment needs after bioparents separate (divorce)

7-26)  Typical stepkids' concurrent developmental and adjustment needs

7-27)  How to assess a child's status with four sets of special needs.

7-28)  Q & A about divorcing-family and stepfamily co-parenting

7-29)  How stepparenting differs from bioparenting

7-30)  Traits of effective stepparents

Review - Options for improving communications with kids (Lesson 6)

Review - Effective child discipline Lesson 6)

7-31)  Effective stepchild-discipline 

7-32)  Worksheet for clarifying co-parents' responsibilities

7-33)  How to make co-parent "job descriptions"

7-34)  Resolve conflicts over stepfamily names and titles

7-35)  Pros and cons of conceiving an "ours" child in a stepfamily

7-36)  Perspectives on legally adopting your stepchild

7-37)  Options for reducing adult-stepchild problems

Review - Avoid or resolve legal battles among family members (Lesson 4)

Review - Resolve the <real> problems causing typical child-custody disputes

Review - Resolve 3 problems causing child-visitation disputes

Review - The real issues causing family "money" disputes

Review to a "disinterested" bioparent (ex mate)

Review Self-affirmations for stressed co-parents

Stepparent-Stepchild Relationships

7-38)  Q & A about stepchildren

7-39)  Q & A about stepparenting

7-40)  Options for resolving stepparent-stepchild "love" problems.

Review - Options for understanding and reducing stepkids' dishonesty

Stepsibling Relationships

Review  Basic perspective on resolving sibling problems (Lesson 6)

7-42)  What is it like to be a half-sibling?

Review Options for reducing significant step-sibling hostility (Lesson 4)

Review  Reduce significant jealousy and envy between stepsiblings. .

Common Problems with Stepfamily Relatives

Review - Options for improving relationships among relatives (Lesson 5)

7-43)  What do co-grandparents and step-grandkids need? - (3 pages)

7-44)  Resolve relatives' resistances to accepting stepfamily identity

Review - Confront disapproval and rejection among family relatives (Lesson 5)

Review  Manage "favoritism" conflicts among relatives - (Lesson 5)

Special Stepfamily Issues

7-45)  Options for reducing holiday and celebration stress (Lesson 6)

7-46)  Options for successful stepchild residence-changes (Lesson 6)

7-47)  Adapt to many family changes when a co-parent's home relocates

7-48)  How to pick an effective stepfamily counselor

Resources

7-49) How to evaluate stepfamily books, programs, and advice

7-50) Helpful books about topics in Lessons 1 thru 7

7-51)  Helpful Web sites, games, books, and periodicals for co-parents and supporters 

Review - traits of a high-nurturance family (Lesson 5)

Review - use structural maps to understand and manage your stepfamily

Review - An overview of family systems, and how to use this concept

Review - Why family mission statements are vital, and how to make one (Lesson 4)

Review: Options for analyzing and resolving most role and relationship problems (Lesson 4)

Review - An introduction to three universal family conflicts, and what to do about them (Lesson 2)

+ + +

This index was very helpful  somewhat helpful  not helpful  

Share/Bookmark  Prior page  /  Lesson 7 study guide

colorbar

 site intro  /  course outline  /  site search  /  definitions  /  chat contact  copyright info

Updated December 14, 2011