SITE MAP Links to 150+ articles, worksheets, quizzes, answers, projects, solutions, and resources By Peter K. Gerlach, MSW:

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The Web address of this article is http://sfhelp.org/site/map.htm

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        Almost half of recent U.S. first-marriages have ended legally. Uncounted millions more end psychologically. Researchers propose that a higher percentage of U.S. remarriages fail legally, and millions more endure daily dissatisfaction and stress. My full-time research since 1979 suggests five combined reasons for this tragic epidemic:

• mates' psychological wounds from a low-nurturance childhood, plus...

• widespread unawareness of key family, parenting, communication, grieving, and relationship basics, plus...

• incomplete or blocked grief in wounded parents and kids. These three stressors combine to promote...

• unaware, wounded, needy couples choosing the wrong people to commit to, for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time; who soon encountering a mix of alien problems, and discover...

• little or no effective support in local communities and the media.

        The good news: once aware of these five hazards, mates can team up on 12 projects to overcome them and guard themselves and their dependent kids from probable divorce trauma. This nonprofit site is organized around these 12 Projects. It offers clear, realistic, usable information about low-nurturance-family realities, roles, relationships, problems, and solutions, based on 29 years' professional research.

        These 150+ Web articles and worksheets aim to promote (a) breaking the toxic [wounds + unawareness] cycle, (b) long-term growth of high-nurturance family relationships, and (c) reduce rampant U.S. divorce trauma. 

        These articles are written for...

• survivors of low-nurturance childhoods (Grown Wounded Children - GWCs)

• troubled and divorcing mates and parents,

• courting and committed stepfamily co-parents and kin, and...

• human-service professionals supporting these people and their families.

 To get the most from this site, first read this brief introduction.

  Site Contents

      For a quick orientation, see the site overview and return. Note that the key articles in this non-profit educational Web site are integrated in a series of guidebooks for family adults and and supporters.

LINK INDEXES by TOPIC
Persons and Relationships	Biological Families	Stepfamilies
Effective communication Typical kds' needs and effective parenting Bonding, losses, and healthy grieving Courtship, marriage, and divorce   Psychological wounds and wound reduction Questions typical family adults should ask  (with answers) Relationship basics	Relatives Solutions - biofamilies	Basics Implications and realities Remarriage Ex mate relations   Stepparents and stepkids Stepsibling relations Special situations Effective Solutions

 

LINKS by FAMILY PROJECT
Courtship Projects	All  Families	Stepfamilies
1)  Assess for six psychological wounds, and reduce them
2)  Learn and use effective-communication skills
3)  Accept your stepfamily identity, learn what it means, and re-     solve membership conflicts
4)  Convert ~60 myths into realistic expectations
5)  Learn good-grief basics, identify and finish any incomplete grief,      and forge a pro-grief family
6)  (a) Evolve and use a family mission statement, (b) learn kids special needs, and (c) negotiate co-parent "job descriptions"
7)  Make three wise courtship commitment choices
Post-commitment Projects (ongoing)	All  Families	Stepfamilies
8)  Maintain a satisfying primary relationship together
9)  Merge three or more multi-generational biofamilies, and      resolve many conflicts over four or more years
10)  Patiently build a high-nurturance family together
11a)  Evolve an effective family support network, and use it!
11b)  Assess and celebrate your family strengths!
12)  Help each other stay balanced, and enjoy your family-       building process!

The stepfamily version of most of these projects is usually significantly more complex, stressful, and potentially rewarding than the intact-biofamily version, so they merit separate articles. 

SITE RESOURCES
Free remarriage-preparation course on Projects 1-7 Discussion Forums Downloads Glossary / Terms Index of all worksheets Informational popups in most pages and articles	Recommended readings Selected research summaries Selected slide presentations on key site topics Site search Site feedback form Support-group guide Selected Web links, by topic

Who's Really Running Your Life? Guidebook for Project 1

Satisfactions - 7 skills your  parents never taught you Guidebook for Project 2

Four other guidebooks integrate the key articles in this site

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Updated  September 25, 2008