SITE MAP

Links to 150+ articles, worksheets, quizzes, answers, projects, solutions, and resources

By Peter K. Gerlach, MSW:

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The Web address of this article is http://sfhelp.org/site/map.htm

 This nonprofit site has been found safe for visitors by Mcfee Site Advisor

  If you're a media professional, please see this.

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        Links below will open a new browser window or an informational popup - so please turn off your browser's popup blocker, or accept popups from this nonprofit Web site.

+ + +

        Almost half of recent U.S. first-marriages have ended legally. Uncounted millions more end psychologically. Researchers propose that a higher percentage of U.S. remarriages fail legally, and millions more endure daily dissatisfaction and stress. My full-time research since 1979 suggests five combined reasons for this tragic epidemic:

  • mates' psychological wounds from a low-nurturance childhood, plus...

  • widespread unawareness of key family, parenting, communication, grieving, and relationship basics, plus...

  • incomplete or blocked grief in wounded parents and kids. These three stressors combine to promote...

  • unaware, wounded, needy couples choosing the wrong people to commit to, for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time; who soon encountering a mix of alien problems, and discover...

  • little or no effective support in local communities and the media.

        The good news: once aware of these five hazards, mates can team up on 12 projects to overcome them and guard themselves and their dependent kids from probable divorce trauma. This nonprofit site is organized around these 12 Projects. It offers clear, realistic, usable information about low-nurturance-family realities, roles, relationships, problems, and solutions, based on 29 years' professional research.

        These 150+ Web articles and worksheets aim to promote (a) breaking the toxic [wounds + unawareness] cycle, (b) long-term growth of high-nurturance family relationships, and (c) reduce rampant U.S. divorce trauma. 

        These articles are written for...

  • survivors of low-nurturance childhoods (Grown Wounded Children - GWCs)

  • troubled and divorcing mates and parents,

  • courting and committed stepfamily co-parents and kin, and...

  • human-service professionals supporting these people and their families.

 To get the most from this site, first read this brief introduction.

  Site Contents

      For a quick orientation, see the site overview and return. Note that the key articles in this non-profit educational Web site are integrated in a series of guidebooks for family adults and and supporters.

  LINK INDEXES by TOPIC

Persons and Relationships

Biological Families

Stepfamilies

Effective communication

Typical kds' needs and effective parenting

Bonding, losses, and healthy grieving

Courtship, marriage, and divorce

 

Psychological wounds and wound reduction

Questions typical family adults should ask
 (with answers)

Relationship basics

 

Relatives

Solutions - biofamilies

 

 

 

 

 

Basics

Implications and realities

Remarriage

Ex mate relations  

Stepparents and stepkids

Stepsibling relations

Special situations

Effective Solutions

 

  LINKS by FAMILY PROJECT

 Courtship Projects

All  Families Stepfamilies
1)  Assess for six psychological wounds, and reduce them  
2)  Learn and use effective-communication skills  
3)  Accept your stepfamily identity, learn what it means, and re-     solve membership conflicts  

4)  Convert ~60 myths into realistic expectations

 
5)  Learn good-grief basics, identify and finish any incomplete grief,      and forge a pro-grief family  

6)  (a) Evolve and use a family mission statement, (b) learn kids special needs, and (c) negotiate co-parent "job descriptions"

 
7)  Make three wise courtship commitment choices  

Post-commitment Projects (ongoing)

All  Families Stepfamilies
8)  Maintain a satisfying primary relationship together  
9)  Merge three or more multi-generational biofamilies, and
    
resolve many conflicts over four or more years
 
10)  Patiently build a high-nurturance family together  
11a)  Evolve an effective family support network, and use it!  
11b)  Assess and celebrate your family strengths!  
12)  Help each other stay balanced, and enjoy your family-       building process!  

The stepfamily version of most of these projects is usually significantly more complex, stressful, and potentially rewarding than the intact-biofamily version, so they merit separate articles. 

SITE RESOURCES

 Free remarriage-preparation
course on Projects 1-7

Discussion Forums

Downloads

Glossary / Terms

Index of all worksheets

Informational popups in most pages and articles

Recommended readings

Selected research summaries

Selected slide presentations on key site topics

Site search

Site feedback form

Support-group guide

Selected Web links, by topic

Who's Really Running Your Life?

Guidebook for Project 1
 

available by m ail  in hard cover and soft cover editions

Satisfactions - 7 skills your
 parents never taught you

Guidebook for Project 2

Four other guidebooks integrate the key articles in this site

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Updated  September 25, 2008