Table of Contents

Acknowledgements .........................................................	9
PART 1) FOUNDATIONS	11
Introduction .....................................................................	13
1) First Things First . . . ....................................................	29
2) Basic Premises ............................................................	39
3) Key Attitudes and Expectations ....................................	61
4) Overview: Co-parent Team-building .................................	79
PART 2) REAL TEAMWORK BARRIERS	107
5) Adapt to Psychological Wounds - I .................................	111
6) Adapt to Psychological Wounds - II ................................	127
7) Grow Effective Communications .....................................	150
8) Re/build Co-parental Respect .........................................	168
9) Re/grow Trust and Honesty ............................................	187
10) Reduce Excessive Guilt ...............................................	205
11) Forgive Yourself and Your Ex .......................................	227
12) Release Blocked Grief ...............................................	248
PART 3) COMMON SURFACE BARRIERS	265
13) Make Anger Work for Your Family ...............................	267
14) Tame Excessive Resentments ....................................	281
15) Assert and Enforce Your Boundaries ............................	290
16) Loyalty Conflicts and Triangles ...................................	306
17) If a Co-parent is "Uninvolved" ......................................	323
18) Avoid or End Legal Battles ...........................................	338
19) Resolve "Money" Disputes ..........................................	354
20) Coping With "Addictions" ............................................	360
21) Reduce Child-visitation Conflicts ...................................	377
22) Reduce Sexual Tensions .............................................	390
23) Teamwork and Family Change ......................................	405
24) Summing Up and Refocusing .......................................	422
PART 4) RESOURCES	430
A) Re/marital Hazards and Protections .............................	431
B) A Stepfamily "Genogram" (Map) ...................................	439
C) Sample Family Mission Statement ...............................	441
D) High-nurturance Family Traits .......................................	443
E) Worksheet: False-self Traits ........................................	454
F) What Your Kids Need ..................................................	467
G) Common Stepfamily-merger Tasks ...............................	496
H) Summary: Communication Basics ................................	510
I ) Sample: A Personal Bill of Rights ..................................	517
J ) Common Communication Blocks ...................................	521
K) Tips for Effective Communication...................................	531
L) How We Handle Loyalty Conflicts ..................................	544
M) What’s Unique About Stepparenting? ............................	549
N) Selected Readings .....................................................	558
Index .............................................................................	565

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Updated  November 09, 2011