Break the inheitred [wounds + unawareness] cycle!
Formerly ''Stepfamily Information''

8 Self-study lessons your parents never taught you

  ABOUT the AUTHOR
 of this unique course
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Peter Gerlach photo I (Peter Gerlach, MSW) have been a professional  family-systems researcher, educator, and therapist specializing in stepfamilies since 1979. A Stanford graduate, I was an engineer, trainer, and manager for GT&E and IBM for 17 years. I have been a stepson, step-grandson, stepbrother of four, and a stepfather of two girls.

     I spent two years researching lay and professional stepfami-ly literature published between 1979 and 1980 for my social work Master's-degree thesis, and have taken over 400 hours of clinical post-graduate training in a wide range of topics since then. I have consulted with well over 1,000 typical Midwestern divorcing and stepfamily adults since 1981.

       I co-founded the nonprofit Stepfamily Association of Illinois, Inc. (SAI) with interested others in 1981. Shortly after that, I was invited to join the Board of Directors of the Stepfamily Association of America  (SAA) by its founders, Drs. John and Emily Visher. I later served on the SAA Advisory Council, and was invited to rejoin the Board in March, 2002 by President Marjorie Engel.

        After SAA passed it's mission to the National Stepfamily Resource Center, I became a member of the NSRC Stepfamily Experts Council.

       Since 1981, I have taken over 3,000 calls on the Stepfamily inFormation "warm-line." I moderated the "Stepfamily Issues" forum at Divorcenet.com for two years, and have answered over 500 online steppar-enting questions at AllExperts.com. I rejoined AllExperts.com 8/08 as an expert in effective communica-tion, and am a self-actualization consultant at SelfGrowth.com.

        I have learned from over 1,000 typical family adults from all walks of life, in over 18,000 hours of per-sonal consultations, classes, and workshops. I have published my learnings in this (evolving) non-profit Web site, several magazines, and a series of guidebooks for lay and professional readers. I was also a contributing editor for SAA's e-magazine Your Stepfamily Online.

        I  designed a series of online PowerPoint presentations on key topics in this nonprofit site. I also created a modular class for stepfamily adults, and led versions of it for scores of groups in the Chicago area.

        I've also taught a half-day portion of a family-life weekend seminar for 40 groups of remarrying coup-les. One module is a unique three-hour stepfamily role-play for groups of 12 or more people to raise their awareness experientially.

        I have led over 400 classes and seminars for adults and teens on interpersonal communications skills, healthy grieving, anger management, addictions, divorce recovery; effective single parenting; and recovery from low-nurturance-childhood wounds.

        My sponsors have included the State of Illinois; Cook County States Attorney's Office, the Catholic Diocese (Family Life Office) of Rockford IL, Mothers Without Custody, major Chicago-area businesses; Governors State, Northwestern, Northeastern Illinois, and Northern Illinois universities; and many local schools, churches, and mental-health agencies. I have appeared on local and national radio and NBC television speaking on these topics.    

        As the son of two functional alcoholics, I have been in proactive "ACoA" recovery since 1986. This has led to adopting and using inner-family therapy to promote individual clients' recovery from up to six ''false self'' wounds related to growing up in low-nurturance (dysfunctional) childhoods.

        Work with over 1,000 average Midwestern-US clients suggests that over 80% of the adults in typical troubled relationships and families are Grown Wounded Children (GWCs) and don't (want to) know it, or what it probably means to them and their kids. All my work has led me recently to promote preventing the unremarked [wounds + unawareness] cycle that seems to be spreading in and weakening our culture now. This has become my life mission and a steady source of daily purpose and satisfaction.  

        I have been adapting to diabetes and an incurable muscle-wasting disease that increasingly limits My physical abilities for a decade. I have years of personal experience as a step-grandson, adult step-son, stepfather of two girls, stepbrother of four, step-cousin, and step-uncle-in-law. I am twice divorced, and have no biokids. I had to retire from my private therapy practice in January 2006, and do phone consultations now from Portland, Oregon (USA).

        To contact me, go here, or join and use the Break the Cycle! discussion board. If you're curious about how and why I came to create this Web site, see this.

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Updated January 26, 2010