Co-parenting worksheet  Continued

      Tasks in italics below are usually not needed or are significantly different in typical intact biofamilies.

arro-dwn.gif (73 bytes)Our Co-parenting Goals / Activities

Who should be responsible for
doing this with (child's name)

Names / initialsarro-rt1.gif (72 bytes) 







Money / Work

Teach and model good money management


Define, assign, and monitor household chores


Set and  monitor this child's allowance rules


Give them appropriate allowance money 


Help this child get and keep an appropriate job 


Help this child learn to buy and save wisely 


Teach this child how to use checking and savings accounts


Determine and negotiate appropriate financial support amounts for this child 


Decide how this child's support money should be used


Provide an inheritance for this child via an estate plan and legal will 


Teach this child basic investment principles, and coach their attempts


Resolve major family disputes on any of these             

Names / initials arro-rt1.gif (72 bytes)







Spirituality and Religion

Define and model healthy spirituality


Define and implement our home's spirituality "policy" 


Supervise this child's religious-education site / activities / choices 


Encourage and monitor this child's spiritual growth 


Resolve spiritual and religious values conflicts between this child's co-parents


Child Visitations

Learn this child's other co-parents' visitation needs, priorities and feelings 


Stay aware of our other co-parents' main household roles and rules  


Arrange and provide transport to / from our other co-parents' home/s


Arrange special visits for this child


Keep any legal parenting agreement current, and follow or amend it. Explain it to this child.  




Resolve major child visitation disputes


Healthy Grieving

Learn healthy-grieving basics, including  the symptoms of blocked grief


Define, teach, and implement our home's grieving policy ("no policy" is a policy) 


Clearly explain their bioparents' divorce or death to this child 


Help this child understand and grieve their biofamily divorce (or parental death) and re/marriage losses


Identify this child's other adjustment tasks from their bioparents' divorce and remarriage/s 




Resolve any conflicts about these tasks



Pay custody-related legal expenses 


Explain custody concepts, conflicts, and realities to this child


Resolve conflicts over this child's primary residence / custody 


           Congratulations! If you've worked your way through a set these of pages for each minor child in your stepfamily, you're clearly a concerned, motivated co-parent! Now - what can you do with your findings?


Print copies of this worksheet, and invite each of your other co-parents (including co-grandparents) to thoughtfully fill them out for each child as your teammates. As you do, help each other expect and manage probable values and loyalty conflicts in and between your several homes.

Use these (many!) responsibilities to help you evolve effective co-parental job descriptions. Also use these 30 special adjustment needs that typical minor stepkids must fill along with their normal developmental tasks.

Consider showing these worksheets to your old-enough kids, relatives, and any teachers and professionals supporting your stepfamily health and growth. These pages can help other adults appreciate how complex and different stepfamily co-parenting is compared to traditional bioparenting!

Stay aware of your priorities and your balance. Avoid over-focusing on these co-parenting responsibilities by helping each other keep clear on your personal needs and your many other personal and stepfamily-building tasks. 

Edit this inventory together to better fit your unique stepfamily situation over time, and re-use it periodically to help all three or more of your co-parents clarify (and prioritize) your common goals and coordinate your child-guidance efforts.

      Finally ...

Relish the personal and joint satisfaction that you all are succeeding at the challenging job of stepfamily co-parenting! Imagine the group of your unborn grandchildren whose lives will be greatly improved by your current dedication and long-term, patient efforts! Your co-parents are the main defense against passing on the lethal [wounds + unawareness] cycle to your descendents!


      This Lesson-7 worksheet documents how many responsibilities typical stepfamily bioparents and stepparents (and grandparents) share toward raising healthy independent young adults. The worksheet exists to help co-parents minimize confusion over who's responsible for filling each minor and grown child's many specific developmental and family-adjustment needs.

      Pause, breathe, and reflect - why did you read this worksheet? Did you get what you needed? If not, what do you need? Who's answering these questions - your true Self, or ''someone else''? 

    This article was very helpful  somewhat helpful  not helpful  

Share/Bookmark  Page 1   Lesson 7  /  Print page 


 site intro  /  course outline  /  site search  /  definitions  /  chat contact