Many stepfamily authors and commentators estimate that
over 50% of typical American
step-families eventually divorce legally. Many millions more divorce
psychologically. One
of five combined reasons for this tragic trend seems to be that typical
needy, uninformed, unaware courting co-parents make up to three unwise
courtship commitment decisions - they choose the wrong people (adults and
kids) to commit to, for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time.
This unique, practical guidebook for courting co-parents and their lay and
professional supporters offers experience-based suggestions and resources to
help them choose...
This resource book integrates - and
provides cross-references to - key Web articles on
seven con-current courtship projects
which prepare couples to make wise long-term decisions.
Stepfamily Courtship fills a crucial gap in published stepfamily and
re/marital materials.
 For
experience-based perspective on selecting useful stepfamily-related
books, see this. For related perspective
on considering stepfamily advice, see this.
Table of Contents
|
14 Courtship
Danger Signs
.................................................. |
9 |
|
Acknowledgements
............................................................. |
17 |
|
PART 1) - FOUNDATIONS |
19 |
|
1) Introduction
.....................................................................
|
21 |
|
2) Get the Most From
This Book .......................................... |
32 |
|
3) What’s a
High-nurturance Family? ....................................
|
48 |
|
4)
Why Most
U.S. Re/marriages Fail .....................................
|
69 |
|
5) A Pre-re/marriage
Quiz
..................................................... |
83 |
|
6) Stepfamily
Realities
.........................................................
|
91 |
|
7) One Stepfamily’s
Story
.................................................... |
98 |
|
8) 12 Long-term
Co-parent
Projects ........................................ |
122 |
|
PART 2) - SEVEN
COURTSHIP PROJECTS |
135 |
|
Lesson 1: Assess For Inner Wounds
......................................
|
137 |
|
Project
2: Learn Effective Problem-solving
...............................
|
167 |
|
Project
3: Accept Your Stepfamily Identity .............................
|
199 |
|
Project
4: Form Realistic Expectations
..................................
|
233 |
|
Lesson 3A) Learn Good-Grief Basics...................................... |
248 |
|
Lesson 3B) Free
Blocked Grief ............................................. |
287 |
|
Project
6:
Draft a Mission Statement and Co-parent
"Job-descriptions"
................................................. |
325 |
|
Project
7: Decide If You Should Re/marry Now........................
|
353 |
|
17) Summary and next steps...............................................
|
385 |
|
PART 3) - RESOURCES |
399 |
|
A)
Traits of
False-self Dominance
......................................... |
401 |
|
B) Typical Traits of
Codependence
...................................... |
412 |
|
C) Stepfamilies vs.
Intact Biofamilies ................................... |
422 |
|
D) Personal-priorities
Worksheet ......................................... |
446 |
|
E) What your Minor
(Step)kids Need
................................. |
453 |
|
F)
Summary: Three
Right Re/marriage Choices
................... |
480 |
|
G) Stepfamily
Relationship Terms
....................................... |
492 |
|
H) Selected
Resources
.........................................................
|
537 |
|
Index
...................................................................................
|
551 |
What´s Different about This Book?
It is the only stepfamily resource that...
- Is based on (a) 30 years´ clinical research, including over 17,000 hours´
consultation with over 1,000 typical divorced and stepfamily adults and some of their kids; (b) five widespread
re/marital hazards, and (c)
seven Projects to neutralize the hazards. This volume...
-
Integrates
six core concepts:
# proven family-systems principles; and...
# an
inner-family concept of human personalities, linked to...
# a definition of
high-nurturance families;
and...
# a framework of seven effective-thinking and
communication skills,
# healthy three-level
grieving
and healing blocked grief; and...
# a framework of stepfamily
realities,
meanings, and merger-adjustment
tasks.
And this guidebook...
-
Provides
Internet addresses to over 150 experience-based stepfamily articles, worksheets, and other
resources to augment its contents. This is one of several guidebooks for
a free, 8-module
self-study course for
people interested in healing and self-growth.
Lesson 7 focuses on evolving high-nurturance stepfamilies.
And this book is
different because of...
-
My personality, writing style, training (BSME and
MSW), and 72 years´ life experience (engineering, business,
teaching, and 30 years´ practice of psychotherapy with hundreds of
stepfamily clients). My learnings from personal "ACoA" recovery (from a low-nurturance childhood) since 1986
greatly influ-ence this
series of guidebooks and Web articles. And...
-
I have many years of personal experience as a stepgrandson, adult stepson, stepfather of two girls, and stepbrother of four - and an admirer of two haughty stepcats.
In summary,
Stepfamily Courtship is the first book designed to help courting co-parents choose the right people to commit to, at the right time, for the right reasons. Most
of this book also pertains to couples considering a first marriage without prior kids
and to those who are already re/married!
|
Mail order this comprehensive, unique reference book as a
hardcover, softcover, or e-book from Xlibris.com
or other online and "brick-and-mortar" booksellers.
|
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Updated
30 August, 2010
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