Premises About Human Behavior
Get undistracted, adopt the open curiosity of a student, and compare these
beliefs to yours, one at a time. Take your time. If you can tell whether your true Self is
your other subselves, do so. If s/he isn't guiding, expect your responses to
these premises to be biased. A = "I agree," D = "I disagree," and
? = "I'm not sure / I don't know / I don't care."
1) All
human behavior is caused by trying to reduce (fill, satisfy) current
needs - physical, emotional, and spiritual discomforts.
Needs range from surface (symptoms) to
situational to chronic, and current to long-term.
(A D ?)
Needs can be grouped into these catagories:
2)
All personal and social "problems" are unfilled
Our culture currently does not teach people to (a) value
and to (b)
validate,
and
their and other people's primary needs well enough, in mutually-acceptable
ways. (A D ?)
Implication - a core goal of
effective clinical service is to encourage clients and co-workers to want to
become aware of (a) their
(b)
they try to fill their and others' needs (how they "problem-solve"), and (c) what
usually results. Few clients will ask for this.
3) All
persons, relationships, and
families (including yours) evolve
through predictable developmental stages.
Adults, kids, and infants
have
different need-profiles at different stages.
(A D ?)
Implication - effective clinicians
know how to (a) differentially assess for these needs and how well-filled
they are, and to (b) promote practical client strategies to fill their
developmental needs
well enough.
Premise 4) Families exist to
nurture - i.e. to fill the local and long-term
primary needs of their young
and adult members. By assessing some key factors, any family (or other human
group) can be judged
to have a low to high "nurturance level." With adult knowledge, dedication,
and healing, low nurturance levels can be improved.
This is an implicit goal of
effective clinical service with any client, tho they won't ask for it.
(A D ?)
5)
Young children raised in low-nurturance families don't get their
developmental and
situational needs met well enough.
Their unaware, wounded caregivers can't teach them how to (a) recognize, validate, and
as-sert their needs and (b) how to problem-solve effectively. This unintended parental
is currently sanctioned - and denied - by our society. (A D
?)
Implication - effective clinical
work with any client will include teaching family members (a) how to
recog-nize, validate, and assert their needs, and (b) how to problem-solve
(fill needs) effectively. Typical clients
won't ask for this.
Premise 6)
Children raised in low-nurturance families automatically adapt (survive)
by evolving persona-lities composed of semi-independent
These subself-systems are often chaotic and conflictual because..
(a)
their environment is chronically stressful, and (b) the resident
(natural inner leader) is
undeveloped, untrusted, and
by other subselves.
These controlling subselves si-lently become a
which causes predictable behavioral
traits and psychological
(A D ?) If you're skeptical about this, try
this safe exercise and read this
letter to you.
Until such a child (a) understands and accepts his or her subselves, and (b)
works to patiently retrain and harmonize them under the expert leadership of
their
(capital "S") and
they (a) will have chronic trouble filling their primary needs, and (b) may live well below their
and
die prema-turely. Our unremarked
divorce epidemic is one sign of how
pandemic low-nurturance families and chaotic subselves (personalities) are
in America. This has major implications for clinical service with all
clients.
7) Adults with disorganized, conflictual subselves (personalities) may be
called
- GWCs.
"Wounded" means having some mix of up to six related toxic
that stea-dily (a) inhibit personal growth, productivity, and
and (b) combine with
to
steadily cause stressful, toxic relationships with adults and kids. (A
D ?)
|
Implication
- any clinical service that doesn't strategically promote (a)
professional
and client awareness and
acceptance of these "false-self" wounds and their
and (b) proactively
the wounds, will be ineffective or harmful.
The essential first
step in toward serving client families effectively is
lear-ning how to assess (a) yourself for wounds and
ignorance, and (b) your work-environment's nurturance level.
: |
Premise 8)
Low-nurturance families are created and led by adults who are
that they have
(a) significant psychological
wounds and (b) ignorance of
some essential
Until they become aware
of this and assign high priority to intentionally reducing their wounds and ignorance, they will
to their descendents.
This increasingly stresses their family and our society over time. (A
D ?)
Implication
- Effective clinical service will promote (a) clinician's own family
members and (b) every client adult and co-worker understanding and
recognizing the [wounds + unawareness] cycle and its effects, and becoming motivated to
break the cycle in their family and
society.
in this Web site and its
offer practical ways to
and
false self wounds and break the cycle. These ways include an
experience-based framework for effective
Notice your thoughts and feelings now. How do these premises about human
personalities and beha-vior compare with
what you believe? Do you need a break before
continuing?
Premises About Effective Clinical Service
Your
beliefs about your professional role and practice will affect the effectiveness
of your work as much as your premises about human behavior. Clarify your beliefs
by comparing them to these propo-sals...
9) Professional
"clinical service" (therapy, counseling, and coaching) exists because clients
don't know how to fill their situational and primary needs well enough.
(A D ?)
Implication - the effectiveness of clinical service is determined by
how well clinicians are able to teach and motivate clients to identify and fill
their and any dependents' needs well enough.
| 10) To consistently provide effective service to others,
clinicians need to be able to steadily fill their own
well enough.
This requires
(a) that their true Self usually guides their other subselves, and
that (b) the clinician knows how to _ identify what blocks clients from
filling their own needs, and how to _ teach them to dissolve these
blocks permanently. (A D ?) |
11) To promote effective service, the clinical
serving each
client needs to meet premise 10. This is rarely true, at present. (A D
?)
12) Typical clients don't know these premises, which implies that they
don't know how to choose effective clinicians and programs. Implication
ethically, mental-health professionals
need to educate the public on how to choose effective clinical programs and
services for themselves and their children.
13) Clinical
schools and licensing and evaluation agencies
should be aware of - and adopt - these pre-mises to promote effective
clinical training and service to clients. (A D ?)
This is currently not the case,
so most clinicians are unprepared to provide fully-effective service. This also applies to the U.S. judicial, medical, clergy, and
social-service professions. For options on reducing this epidemic social problem, see
this.
Premise 14)
Each adult client is
responsible for wanting to learning how to identify and fill their
own needs (solve their own problems). Clinicians who feel
responsible for solving a client's presenting problems...
-
are probably
ruled by a false self,
-
may have the wound-symptom of
and...
-
are inherently promoting one or more
toxic relationship
in the clinical
metasystem by
choosing the role of Rescuer. This is also true of case consultants,
clinical supervisors, and program directors who allow this or do it
themselves. (A D ?)
15) Clients
seek professional help to fill one or more
surface needs. Their dominant subselves need...
-
to
vent - i.e. to feel empathically heard and accepted. They
don't need to change anything. This implies the client is unable
to find non-professional people who will listen empathically to
them without trying to "fix" and/or judge them. This lack of
empathic social support is often a covert symptom of wounds and
ineffective communication skills, because wounded people tend to
choose each other or to isolate (A D ?); and/or
client subselves need....
-
to get
an authority to affirm that someone else is
responsible for their distress, not them. A version of this is
needing an authority to join them in getting someone else (like a mate)
to change. This usually indicates an unrecognized dominant false-self
and excessive shame, guilts, fears, and reality distortions (A D
?); and/or
clients need... .
-
to have a
surrogate good parent (the clinician) care enough to tell them what to do to
reduce local stress, rather than teach them how to reduce their stress
themselves (A D ?); and/or they need...
-
to
understand ("figure out") why they're experiencing stress ("I
want to know why I'm so apathetic and depressed."), but not necessarily
to take responsibility for reducing the stress. This provides the
illusion of self care without risking core changes. (A D ?);
and/or they need to...
-
break an unendurable
in themselves and/or in
a relationship or family. Typical impasses and "bad habits" are
caused by false selves. (A D ?);
See this perspective on
therapeutic change.
And typical unaware, wounded clients seek professional help to...
-
identify, understand,
and fill their
- e.g. to clarify and deepen their spiritual aware-ness
and relationship with an attentive, caring Higher Power, and/or
perhaps with their "higher self" (A D ?); and/or typical clients seek
help to...
-
generate credible hope that they can improve their mix of
discomforts (A D ?); and/or to...
-
learn how to reduce the suffering of an adult or child
they care about and/or feel responsible for
(A D ?); and/or clients need to...
-
gain the courage and motivation to make a painful, necessary
second-order (permanent core attitude) change - like
shifting careers, admitting a crime,
grieving major losses (broken bonds), accepting an addiction or incurable
illness, or ending a toxic relationship (A D ?); and/or to...
-
empower their true Self
to guide their personality more often (i.e. to harmonize their
subselves), and to their reduce psychological wounds (A
D ?); and/or to..
-
clarify and gain
direction on their life purpose (personal mission) (A
D ?);
and/or clients seek help to ...
-
fill some other needs.
Premise
16)
Typical clinicians' dominant subselves need...
-
to feel professionally
competent, useful, and respected by themselves,
their family, their clients, and their co-workers (A D
?); and...
-
to feel
secure in their
family relationships, professional roles, employment, finances, and
career
(A D ?); and...
-
to feel steadily
balanced
(vs. overwhelmed) personally and professionally (A D
?); and typical
clinicians need to...
-
feel supported well enough, when
confused, overwhelmed, or stymied (A D ?); and clinicians need..
-
trustworthy, effective
guidance and practical
options when they're baffled by a given client
(A D ?); and they need...
-
genuine (vs. dutiful or political)
forgiveness from
themselves, clients, and co-workers when they make significant
errors (A D ?); and...
-
to feel they are growing in their
chosen field and area of competence (A D ?); and typical clinicians
need...
-
freedom from transference
distortions with a given client (A D ?); and/or typical clinicians
need...
-
a mix of these, and/or something
else.
Pause, stretch, and breathe. Have you ever seen premises like these
listed in one place? Have you ever seen inventories of
typical client and clinician needs like this before? Note
with interest what your subselves are
Recap
Premise - one
requisite for effective clinical work is
awareness of a your beliefs about (a) human development and behavior
(including change),
and (b) effective clinical work. This article summarizes premises about these topics that
underlie this model of service to typical trauma
survivors and low-nurturance families.
These premises come from ~30 years of professional study,
reflection, personal recovery, and observation of over 1,000
typical adult clients and some of their kids. Use them to clarify
your beliefs about these two complex topics.
The Web address of this
article is
http://sfhelp.org/pro/premises.htm
Note
- this model and series was originally designed to focus on effective clinical
work with typical divorcing families and stepfamilies. It is being reorganized
in 2009 to pertain to all "low-nurturance" (multi-problem,
"dysfunctional") families, and persons recovering from early-childhood trauma
("Grown Wounded Children" - GWCs). Sections still hilight keys to serving
divorcing and stepfamily members effectively. 