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Lonely describes longing for human companionship. Needy means ha-ving significant discomforts. Have you ever felt really lonely and/or needy? Do you know a "high maintenance" person who seems dominated by these traits? Such people may be controlled by a common young personality subself who causes these normal human feelings. Excessive loneliness and/or neediness may mean that the person is a wounded survivor of a low-nurturance childhood, and has a disabled true Self. Criticizing wounded people for excessive personality traits ("Jenny is just too needy and childish. She needs to grow up!") is unrealistic and un-fair, because they're unaware of their dominant, disorganized subselves and how to comfort and harmonize them. Often the young Lonely / Needy subself is activated by a Shamed Child, Lost Child, Scared Child, and/or a Guilty Child, and their devoted Guardian subselves. These inner kids often don't trust their resident Mana-ger subselves to reliably care for and protect them, so they urge their host person to depend on and expect other people to do that. Project 1 in this nonprofit Web site offers practical ways to assess for "false self" wounds, fill the needs of over-active subselves, and grow "inner-family" harmony and teamwork under the wise guidance of the resident true Self. more detail / Q&A / slides / Project-1 guidebook and links / close |
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