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http://sfhelp.org/gwc/wholistic.htm
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This is one of a series of articles in Lesson 1 in
this nonprofit Web site - free your
true Self
to guide you in calm and conflictual times, and
reduce
significant false-self wounds.
Premise - any person or family can be judged to
be somewhere between "wholistically healthy" (fully functional) and "wholistically
unhealthy" (dysfunctional). Wholistic (usually spelled
holistic)
means (mental + spiritual + emotional + physical).
Health means
"Functioning and growing at natural human potential." Judging this
is subjective.
This
Web site also ranks relationships and families as ranging between low-nurturance and
high-nurturance.
High nurturance means "consistently filling all
family members' current and long-term
primary needs well enough."
This article offers (a) brief perspective on
wholistic health, and (b) a checklist of
wholistic-health traits. Use the checklist to estimate
whether you or someone else is usually guided by your
true Self or not. Use these related Lesson-1
checklists to
sharpen your estimate.
This article assumes you're familiar with...
the
intro to
this web site and the
premises
it's based on
See if you agree with these ides: adults raising minor kidsshare responsibility for...
filling
their and their
dependent kids' developmental and
family-adjustment needs well enough, and
for...
motivating each
other family member - specially minor kids - to assume responsibility for filling their own needs as an adult.
Thefunctionalityof any family or
other group is directly proportional to the wholistic health of
its leader/s - which depends on
how often their
true Self guides their dynamic
other subselves.
People
guided by their true Self will have more traits of
wholistic health (below) than people often
controlled by a false self.
If this is true, then
adults working to reduce psychological
wounds
(Lesson 1) will significantly improve their home's and family's
wholistic health and nurturance level over time.
For sobering perspective, see these recent
research summaries about epidemic
self-neglect among
Americans, and the toxic effects of
growing up in "risky" (low
nurturance) families.
An implication is that typical
Americans aren't very interested in personal or family
wholistic health. That implies typical Americans
are ruled by false selves.
A
common sign of psychological wounds
is reality distortion, including denial. Many wounded peo-ple agree that
striving for wholistic health is important, yet they deny, minimize, joke
about, or justify living unhealthy lifestyles. Does that describe you?
Can you think of a wholistically-healthy ("well balanced") person? What
criteria do you use to judge that? Is one "their true Self usually guides
them in calm and conflictual situations"? Would people who know you
describe you
as "wholistically healthy?
Use this Lesson-1 worksheet to evaluate your current wholistic health and
(b) the odds you're controlled by a false self. This is one several
checklists to help you assess the
latter accur-ately. You can also use this to asses the health or woundedness of another
adult.
Symptoms
of Wholistic Health
See how many of these you can honestly check as "true" now. Listen to
what your subselves
say (your self-talk) as you mull these statements. This checklist is
illustrative and random, not comprehen-sive or prioritized.
__ 1) I usually get
enough (strength / aerobic) physical exercise now.
__ 2) I sleep long enough and
soundly enough, most nights.
__ 3) I eat a diet
that's well-balanced in nutrition, frequency, and quantity.
__ 4) I weigh what
I should for my height and body type.
__ 5) I relax often
enough, without significant guilt or anxiety.
__ 6) I usually enjoy the
work I do and the people I work with.
__ 7) I'm consistently motivated
to get regular physical, eye, and dental checkups.
__ 8) I'm usually comfortable
with my
recent balance between working, resting, and playing.
__ 9) I don’t need to
rely on chemicals (including nicotine and excessive
fat, sugar, caffeine, and pre- scription drugs),
a compulsive activity,
and/or another person to maintain my daily tranquility and
security.
__ 10)
I feel clear on my current life
priorities, and I usually live according to them.
__ 11) I'm clear on the
difference between my surface needs andprimary needs; and I can usually
discern between them to help
problem-solve effectively.
__ 12) I regularly choose to spend periods meditating, praying, journaling, worshiping, and/or
reflect- ing; without feeling significant guilty or anxiety about doing
so.
__ 13) I often feel genuinely
peaceful and serene, despite upsets, doubts, and conflicts.
__ 14) I _ know what my specific
personal gifts (talents) and limits
are, and _ I'm clear on what my
life’s
mission
is - or _ I'm
getting clearer on my main life-purpose, over time.
__ 15) I have one or more hobbies
that I enjoy regularly, alone or
with others.
Recall - these are common
traits of wholistic health and true-Self guidance.
__ 16) I
feel comfortable with my
recent balance of focusing time and energy on the
past,
the present, and the future.
__ 17) I feel confidant I can
grieve key
losses (broken
psychological/spiritual
bonds) healthily and com- pletely now,
or I'm
learning how to that effectively now.
__ 18) I have an unwavering
spiritual faith in an accessible, nourishing (vs. shaming) Higher Power; and
regularly devote time to nurturing and being nurtured by that relationship.
__ 19) I have several other
friends
that I trust and enjoy spending time with.
__ 20) I belly-laugh
frequently,
during an average week.
__ 22) I can usually
name what I’m
feeling,
and frequently know why.
__ 23) I know when I need help, and can usually ask for it and accept it.
__ 24) I'm _ very clear on my
personal rights as a dignified, unique person, and
I _
assert
them effective- ly when I need to.
__ 25) I firmly feel that
I'm a worthwhile, valuable person,
and that my needs, feelings,
thoughts, and dreams are just as
legitimate as every other
person’s.
__ 26) I _ know how to
assert
my
needs and ideas
clearly and confidently, and I _ have an effective way of
handling other people’s reactions (e.g. disagreement) to that;
__ 27) I know how to do
effective
problem-solving with other people, and steadily invite other
people to do
it with me.
__ 28) I can quote the Serenity Prayer (or
equivalent), and use it when appropriate.
__ 29) I can clearly tell
when my
true
Self is
guiding me.
__ 30)
Most mornings, I wake up refreshed and eager for the day.
__ 31) I do not depend on
medication (including food) for my sleep, digestion, or serenity.
__ 32) I'm comfortable enough
with intimacy, sensuality, and my sexuality; and I enjoy these gifts
without major guilt, anxiety, or obsession.
__
33) I
enjoy my
current life well enough: there is nothing major I wish to change now.
__ 34)
__ 35)
I _ took my time with this checklist, and
_ feel pleased, calm, and
satisfied enough as I finish it. _ There is nothing here that I’d feel
uncomfortable sharing with important others. True / False
/ Unsure
This brief perspective on personal wholistic health and the related
checklist provide a way of assessing whether someone has significant psychologically
wounds, or is usually guided by their true Self.
See
Lesson 1 here for an effective way to reduce such
wounds.
+ + +
Pause, breathe, and recall why you read this article. Did you get what
you needed? If so, what do you need now? If not - what
do you need?
Is there anyone you want to
discuss these ideas with?
Who's
answering these
questions - your wise true Self, or
someone else?
The Web address of this article is
http://sfhelp.org/gwc/wholistic.htm
Premises