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Do you know someone who chronically avoids discomforts? When this behavior is extreme, it's usually caused by a dedicated Guardian personality subself who protects scared, guilty, and/or shamed Inner Kids by avoiding risky and painful experiences. This often happens after surviving major childhood neglect and abuse. This well-meaning Avoider subself may team up with the Pro-crastinator, Numb-er, Moralizer, Cynic/Pessimist, Saboteur, and Ma-gician subselves to justify social isolation or superficiality (avoiding intimacy), shirking or not seeking appropriate responsibilities, taking few risks, and righteously justifying and/or denying shameful or guilty behaviors like avoiding, lying, pretenses - and denials An active Avoider or a coalition of Guardian subselves implies that one or more do not yet trust the resident true Self to keep the Inner Kids and host person safe. self-improvement Lesson 1 in this nonprofit Web site offers effective ways to build such trust and harmonize your team of subselves. Lesson 2 describes seven skills that can help you re-solve conflicts that promote toxic avoidances. detail / Q&A / Lesson-1 guide, links, or book / skeptical? / close |
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