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The Web address of this article is http://sfhelp.org/cx/tools/strengths.htm

Updated 01-12-2015

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      This is one of a series of articles in Lesson 2 - learn communication basics and seven powerful skills to get more daily needs met more often. Progress with this depends on concurrent progress on Lesson 1 - free your wise true Self to guide you in calm and conflictual times.      

      This brief YouTube clip previews what you'll find in this worksheet:

      This worksheet provides a way to inventory someone's communication strengths. A related work-sheet can help you identify behaviors that block effective communication. This article assumes you're familiar with...

the intro to this nonprofit Web site, and the premises underlying it this quiz on your communication knowledge these Q&A items about effective communication, these common communication blocks; and... this sample Bill of Personal Rights

Perspective

      Anything one person does that significantly affects another person mentally, emotionally, physically, and/or spiritually is "communication." Communicating is the main skill all living things rely on to fill their daily and special needs.

      Thinking is communication among the subselves that comprise normal personalities. Ignorance of (a) subself dynamics (inner conflicts) and (b) effective thinking and communicating (Lesson 2) is one of three main reasons for most marital, parental, and social problems. The other reasons are unawareness and significant psychological wounds.

      Starting in infancy, we grow an array of personal traits and abilities that hinder or help us to communicate effectively (reduce our current discomforts) in calm and stressful times. The traits that help us are strengths. Any motivated person guided by their true Self (Lesson 1) can improve their strengths, and enjoy satisfying communication outcomes internally and socially.

      Print and use this worksheet to clarify your awareness of…

• How you rate as a communicator with one or more key people, and…

• Your existing communication strengths (and opportunities to grow others)

      Think of one or more people whom you rate as excellent communicators, and identify why you judge them to excel. Then try saying your present communication strengths out loud now. Then compare them with what you discover below.

      For "extra credit," honestly rate your general effectiveness as a communicator from one (I'm very ineffective) to ten (I'm consistent very effective) ___. We'll review this after you're done...

      Are you comfortable identifying your strengths (talents) in general? Many shame-based survivors of low-nurturance childhoods were mistakenly taught that affirming personal strengths and gifts is prideful, egotistical, and/or arrogant (i.e. "bad"). A healthier attitude is "affirming and growing my strengths and honestly acknowledging my limitations are part of maintaining my personal identity and self-respect."

      Option - imagine yourself telling one or more childhood caregivers or mentors "I'm about to inventory my communication strengths," and their verbal and nonverbal responses, Reflect on what they mean... Print this inventory and review your responses later to see your growth! 

+ + +

1)  I define "communication" as...

 

 

2) To me, "effective communication" means:

 

 

3)  Pick a child or adult communication partner. Then rate yourself generally as a communicator with that person. Option: rate yourself in calm times and in conflicts: I'd say I'm…

__ very ineffective  __ fairly ineffective   __ so-so   __ fairly effective   __ very effective

4)  Now guesstimate honestly: In my communicating with them, I think they would rate me as…

__ very ineffective  __ fairly ineffective   __ so-so   __ fairly effective   __ very effective

• Specifically - what would help me communicate more effectively with them?

 

5) Pick a special person and rate them as a verbal communicator with you:

__ very ineffective  __ fairly ineffective   __ so-so   __ fairly effective   __ very effective

• Now guess how that person would rate himself or herself:

__ very ineffective  __ fairly ineffective   __ so-so   __ fairly effective   __ very effective

• Specifically, what would help them communicate more effectively with you?

 

 

6) Name one or more people that you consistently communicate/d very well with:
 

• The key reasons that you we communicate/d well are/were…
   

7) Several people I've consistently had trouble communicating verbally with are…
 

• The main reasons I've had trouble with them are:

 

 

8)  Check your usual communication strengths with a special communication partner, or in general:

 9)  In public and private, I can comfortably express... (take your time with each of these!)
 

__ Joy! __ Encouragement __ Thanks __ Apology __ Love __ Boredom __ Worry / anxiety

__ Anger __ Fear __ Confusion __ Shame __ Disagreement __ Hopes / dreams __ Opinions

__ Forgiveness  __ Frustration  __ Neediness __ Pain __ Affection __ Tears __

__ Vulnerability __ Desire __ Praise __ Sadness __ Weariness __ Humor __

• Other specific communication skills and abilities I want to develop over time are…

 

• What, if anything, is preventing me?

 

 Awarenesses...

 

 

 

      The unique guidebook Satisfactions (Xlibris.com, 2nd ed., 2010) integrates the key Lesson-1 and Lesson-2 articles and resources in this nonprofit Web site, and provides many practical resources.

      Pause and reflect - what did you learn? How did it feel to affirm your communication strengths?  Now rate your general effectiveness as a communicator again from one (I'm very ineffective) to ten (I'm consistent very effective) ___.  Did anything change?

Recap

      This article invites you to identify your specific communication strengths, and to get a better idea of how effective a communicator you are - or could be. You can choose to develop each of the unchecked strengths over time. You can also use this inventory a guide for what to teach any young people in your life about communicating well.

Keep studying and practicing Lessons 1 and 2!

        Pause, breathe, and reflect - why did you read this article? Did you get what you needed? If not, what do you need? Who's answering these questions - your true Self, or ''someone else''?

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