The resources linked below
result from my
studying and teaching effective thinking and communication skills for over 40
years.
The resources are organized by...
Communication Basics
2-1)
Lesson 2 self-study guide - a
framework for using these resources.
2-2)
A communication-knowledge
quiz
2-3)
Questions
and answers about effective communication
2-4)
Overview: effective-communication basics
2-5) Useful communication
terms
Seven Effective-communication Skills
2-6) Keystone skill:
AWARENESS
2-7) Exercise - Practice
building your communication awareness.
2-8)
Key attitudes that affect important
relationships
2-9) Perspective on
"awareness bubbles"
2-10)
A personal
inventory of
communication strengths
2-11)
Pre-wired
female-male differences in priorities
2-12)
EFFECTIVE THINKING,
Why ineffective thinking is widespread, three ways to sharpen it,
and options for developing effective thinking
(2 pages)
Review -
communication with and
among your personality subselves (Lesson 1)
Review -
"interview" one or more personality subselves (Lesson 1)
2-13)
Clear
talk: A family and relationship glossary
(3 pages)
2-14)
Sample
phrases and questions that promote effective communication
Review - Perspective on
surface and primary needs, and
need-levels
2-15)
"DIG DOWN" to find the primary needs under any
surface stressor - p. 1 of 3
2-16)
Examples
of digging down - p. 2 of 3
2-17)
Suggestions on how to "dig down" effectively - p. 3 of 3
Review -
typical primary-relationship needs
Review - perspective on
common spiritual
needs
Review - typical kids'
developmental and
family-adjustment needs
Review How
to analyze any relationship problem (so you can solve it) - (4
pages)
2-18)
EMPATHIC
LISTENING
- hearing with your
heart
2-19)
Reprint: "Why Listening is Good
for You," by Dr. James. J. Lynch
2-20)
Worksheet:
A personal listening
inventory
2-21)
Exercise:
A two-person listening practice
2-22)
RESPECTFUL
ASSERTION,
vs. submission or aggression (2 pages)
2-23)
A
sample adult's or child's Bill of Personal Rights
- one key to effective assertions
Review - Perspective on
respecting your partner and yourself (2
pages)
2-24)
Reprint: “Respect – the Heart
of Every Successful Marriage,” by Annie Gottlieb
2-25)
Worksheet:
Design an effective
(assertion) "I"-message
2-26)
Worksheet:
My personal assertion
profile
2-27)
Exercise:
two-person assertion practice
2-28)
METATALK
- talking about communicating
2-29) Metatalk
guidelines and examples in common interpersonal
situations
2-30)
Examples of communication sequences and patterns
2-31)
Checklist
of communication mistakes, and a lose-lose example -
p. 1 of 3
2-32)
The
same example, with the couple using effective
communication skills - p. 2 of 3
2-33)
Example
of effective couple's communication and awareness, concluded
- p. 3 of 3
2-34) Reprint: “Avoiding Couple Karate
- Lessons in the Marital Arts,” by Anthony Brandt
2-35)
WIN-WIN PROBLEM SOLVING
2-36) Examples of
win-win problem-solving in
action
2-37)
Worksheet - 30
common communication blocks
2-38)
Worksheet:
Your constructive and destructive conflict-resolution traits
2-39)
Exercise:
A two-person problem-solving practice
2-40) 25 tips for building effective
communication skill
Assessment
Tools
Review - your
attitude about your communication
partner
2-41) Communication
sequences and patterns
2-42) Map (diagram) troublesome
communication sequences
2-43) Notice your local and habitual
awareness bubbles
2-44) Assess your
R(espct)-messages
2-45) Profile someone's communication
strengths
Applying the Skills
2-46) Useful communication
phrases
2_47) Useful communication
tips
2-48)
3 ways to improve thinking and communication effectiveness with
anyone
2-49) Options
for responding to common irritating behaviors
Review
- Communicating effectively with kids and teens (Lesson
6)
Review
- How to analyze
most relationship problems (Lesson 4)
Review -
Premises about solving
relationship
problems (Lesson 4)
Review - A menu of
common relationship problems
and solutions (Lesson 4).
2-50)
How to exchange effective
personal feedback
Review - An
introduction to
effective child discipline
(Lesson 6)
Review:
Guidelines for effective stepfamily
child-discipline (Lesson 7)
Review - Perspective on
personal and family anger and
grieving policies
Resources
-
Lesson-2 YouTube video playlists
(multiple clips):
communication basics and
tools and tips. Many Lesson -2 articles opens with one of these clips.
-
Brief research summary on feeling better by
naming your feelings
-
Brief research summary on significant health risks for women
repressing their feelings and needs in marital conflicts.
-
Selected books on communication skills
Connecting With Self and Others, by
Daniel Wackman, Elam Nunnaly,
Phyllis Miller, and Sherod Miller
(Editor); (Interpersonal Communication, 1988)
People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve
Conflicts, by Robert Bolton Ph.D, (Touchstone, 1986)
You Just Don't Understand - Men and Women in Conversation, by
Deborah Tannen (Quill, 2001)
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