( ) [ ]
1) finally feel normal; and stop feeling socially
awkward as a single adult in a couples’ world.
( ) [ ] 2) expand and enhance my life’s daily experiences by sharing them with a
trusted, emotionally healthy, beloved partner.
( ) [ ]
3) reduce my fear of growing old alone.
( ) [ ]
4) conceive and/or nurture one or more kids together "before
it’s too late."
( ) [ ]
5) live with a beloved adult who steadily makes me feel special and primary: i.e.
who (usually) sees me as the most prized and important person in their life.
( ) [ ] 6) have another adult help me daily with my home, finances,
and chores;
( ) [ ] 7) feel
more secure / less anxious - i.e. safer.
( ) [ ] 8) often feel heard, deeply understood, and accepted by a beloved and respected
adult partner.
( ) [ ] 9)
gain the approval or acceptance of someone really important to me (other
than my partner); (Who? __________________________ )
( ) [ ] 10)
rescue an appealing, deserving, or wounded adult;
Me / You
...and I want to commit
so I can...
( ) [ ] 11) live with a beloved adult I can freely give to, and be received by.
( ) [ ] 12)
live with an adult who consistently respects and validates me, and helps me feel
good about myself.
( ) [ ] 13)
(a) become more promotable at work, and/or to
(b) become
more acceptable to my kin, friends, neighbors, and/or my church community.
( ) [ ] 14) live with an adult I can often feel sexually
desired by, excited by, and satisfied with, without guilt,
shame, or anxiety.
( ) [ ] 15)
prove _______________________________________
to (whom?)
____________________________________
( ) [ ] 16)
often feel really known, appreciated, and enjoyed, by a beloved live-in
adult.
( ) [ ] 17)
avoid feeling old and unattractive, and demonstrate my vigor and appeal.
( ) [ ] 18)
live with an interesting adult companion who often stimulates me intellectually,
emotionally, spiritually, and physically, and expands my world.
( ) [ ] 19)
finally become "whole" and balanced.
( ) [ ] 20) fulfill God’s plan for me.
Me / You
...and I want to commit
in order to...
( ) [ ] 21) end my boredom, and have an exciting adventure!
( ) [ ] 22)
live with a loving adult who (often) wants to comfort, accept, and support me when
I’m worried, scared, discouraged, confused, or ashamed.
( ) [ ] 23) live with an adult who steadily wants to encourage me to grow freely as a unique
person with special, valuable abilities, and to help them do the same.
( ) [ ] 24)
feel consistently needed by, and useful and impactful (important) to, a beloved,
special adult I live with.
( ) [ ] 25) "instantly" gain the family I (you) have always needed and longed
for.
( ) [ ] 26) get revenge on someone who has really wounded and mistreated me, you, or a
key loved-one.
( ) [ ] 27)
finally end or avoid the stressful singles / dating scene.
( ) [ ] 28) finally end my (your) loneliness.
( ) [ ] 29)
avoid the emptiness and hassle of living alone.
( ) [ ] 30)
gain the resources to move away from here (or to ________________ ).
...and I want to commit in order to...
( ) [ ] 31)
lower or end my (your) major financial or emotional anxieties or fears.
( ) [ ] 32)
avoid God’s wrath, and end my (your) shame from living sinfully.
( ) [ ] 33)
"do the right thing" because of our unplanned child conception.
( ) [ ] 34)
get a parent, ex mate, or other key person off my (your) back.
( ) [ ] 35)
move into a better / safer home and/or neighborhood.
( ) [ ] 36)
end courtship commuting and phone-calling expense and hassles.
( ) [ ] 37)
end the frustration from our approach-avoid relationship, once and for all.
( ) [ ] 38)
make up for all the pain I’ve (you’ve) endured.
( ) [ ] 39)
relieve others' worrying about me (or you).
( ) [ ] 40)
(any other reasons for committing...)
The Web address of this article is
https://sfhelp.org/relate/mates/reasons.htm
This worksheet is for courting couples without kids from prior unions.
If either of you have prior kids, use this Lesson-7
Directions
